Poolman

"Goes tonally off the rails from the start and proceeds to hit bottom with excruciating momentum, dragging a game ensemble down for the count" 

"Unfortunately, the film bellyflops almost as soon as it starts" 

"[It] will likely go down as one of the worst films to play at any major festival in recent memory" 

"Conspiracies are everywhere in 'Poolman', although the greatest mystery might be how anyone involved was attracted to this tidal wave of dire kookiness" 

"A kooky noir that fails to stand out (...) 'Poolman' is not awful, but it ain’t great either." 

"Some people won't be able to tolerate five minutes of it, but I think others will love it, and they won't be wrong to. I hope Pine makes more movies and refines whatever he was trying to do in this one. There are moments where it wanders into the sublime (...) Rating: ★★½ (out of 4)" 

"'Poolman' plays an inside joke that never let its audience inside"